Living in the Now and other rambling…
It's been said that if we try to keep one foot in the past and one foot in the future, then all we can do is piss in the present. As time goes on that analogy makes more and more sense to me. All of us at times spend so much time and energy worrying about the past, what we’ve done wrong, things that happened, all along missing an opportunity to start over and turn it all around. Granted we should reference the past as a learning experience, then move on once it’s no longer useful to us in that capacity -live and learn, rather than just live. We can’t change the past, and I for one don’t drive a 1981 Delorean with a Flux capacitor. If you do, please let me borrow it...lol. We spend time worrying about the future. That paper that’s due this week. An assignment at work. Bills. Where our life is taking us. Will we meet that special someone? If we have met them, will they still be with us a year from now? All that stuff. While it’s good to plan ahead and set reasonable goals, the harsh reality is that the future DOES NOT EXIST. All we have is the present, the NOW. When you observe children playing it’s quite obvious that all that matters to them is the present. They’re not worrying about the past or the future. They are just enjoying the moment, whether it is playing ball, riding the merry-go-round, swinging, climbing -nothing else matters at that moment. Worry, anxiety and jealousy are all learned behaviors that can be managed. I’m trying very hard to practice what I preach, though it’s not easy for me at times, either. I tend to get close to people, to care for them, to love them. This is both a good and bad quality. Some people are appreciative, while others don’t know how to take me. I have no expectations when I help people, but most seem to feel there’s an ulterior motive or an asterisk attached to my kindness, like I expect something in return. They feel threatened. Often times, people have a fear of love and intimacy and tend to shy away from me, because I’m very open about my feelings. Sting said it best: “if you love somebody, set them free”. That person’s happiness should be of the utmost importance, whether or not you are part of the picture. If seeing other people makes them happy, it should make you happy, too. Jealousy eliminated, in theory anyway. Tough concept, but I’m working on that, too. So here I am worrying about relationships…Oh the drama… -see? I caught myself. Left unchecked, the mind tends to wander and create background noise and annoying distractions. The point is, it’s all about right now. If you are happy today, enjoy the moment, for it is all you have. If you are not happy, reflect briefly on why this is so, and discard any feelings driven by worry/anxiety/drama. Do something simple to make you happy right now, even if it’s only going for a walk, reading, gardening, tweaking your car, having a cup of coffee or tea, some activity you enjoy. More often than not, the simple things in life are the best things. Have fun with those people who are close to you, and realize that they will come and go. It’s also important to learn to enjoy solitude. It’s been said that the true test of mental health is to be able to spend time alone, comfortably. If we’re not comfortable with and by ourselves, it’s hard to be comfortable around others, and even more difficult to have lasting relationships. I’m becoming more comfortable with who I am, so it’s slowly getting easier.
-David Cunningham
March 30, 2003
Inspired by a quote:
“..loving all of it even when he had to hate some of it because he knows that you don’t love because: you love despite; not for virtues, but despite faults.”
- William Faulkner
Read it a few times. I had to. Then it started making sense. True love has no boundaries. You love someone despite. Despite the fact that you’re so far apart, be it geographically or personality-wise. Despite the fact that you can’t see how you can be together for whatever reasons. I think it’s impossible to love somebody for any one single reason. Though it may be easier to say you love someone because of this or that, the real reason the ‘becauses’ exist is to make dealing with the ‘despites’ easier. You can’t love because, but despite all the reasons why it would be easier if you didn’t. Though not loving would be easier, we would not be human if not for our capacity to love another with soul-burning depth and passion. If not for that, we’d be worthless on every level. Logistics and distance don’t matter. Fears and rationalization don’t matter either, though we would not understand love were it not for fear, as one thing cannot exist without its opposite: We would not know what peace is were it not for war. This is unfortunate, but true. Love and fear define and motivate each other. When you tell somebody you love them, you immediately fear that you won’t hear them say, “I love you, too” in return. A vicious circle, as it is the pain that makes the love, and the love that makes the pain worth it. I’ve said it before; I just said it again because it’s fact. You love someone despite your fears, for it’s imperative to tell others how you feel about them. Don’t hold back. All that matters is Love, and love conquers all in time. Not that the path is easy, because it’s not. Feelings take time to process, and that’s ok. You love despite. Despite one’s faults. Despite reservations. You love a person for their faults as well, for that’s what makes them truly interesting and unique. You must love the bad with the good, or you don’t love any of it, for one doesn’t exist without the other, without a primary basis for comparison. I can love because of and despite of an infinite number of opposing reasons. I can love, and that’s all that matters. I can love despite these things, and that’s what keeps me going. To my friends, you know who you are….just know that I love you all very much, and I always will.
Peace.
-David Cunningham
August 23, 2002
www.vwpilot.com
As I drove to work this morning I witnessed the most beautiful morning sky I think I’ve ever seen. As the sun shone through the high cirrus, the ice crystals formed billions of prisms, deflecting the light into a beautiful kaleidoscope. Good Morning, David. It was a powerful message. Today will be good.
It was nice to start my day off with such a powerful image. Lately, the world as a whole and all of us as individuals have been experiencing tremendous losses. We need a serious injection of happiness and stability, STAT. The whole 9-11 experience. Charles Bishop crashed into the building. Ricky Teal spun out of control on Keene Road into a tree. The tree stood. Ricky moved on. And here we are, you and I, left to deal with all of this. Where do we start? There is no easy answer. We must grieve. All of us deal with loss differently, and that’s ok. We go through the denial, the sadness, the anger, the emptiness. The “I should have/could have/would have” phases. Grief, simply put, is a profound statement that you cared for somebody and that they made a difference in your life. Life will be different without them. There will be a void, an empty place in your heart and soul that will be difficult to repair. But life goes on. And that person’s positive energy lives on in you. Believe it. It’s real. You can feel it. Don’t be afraid of this energy working within you, and don’t hesitate to share your feelings with others. We’re all in this boat together, and we can help each other.
So deal with your emotions. You need to do this. Laugh, cry, grieve, reflect. Then Move On. Talk to each other. Make the positive decision to be happy. Sometimes, the power of positive thinking and the support of family and friends is all we need. It is a mindset, and it is contagious. Anger and bad attitude, on the other hand, are poisonous. You can set the mood of those around you by the attitude and emotion you display. Make it a positive impact. I’m not saying you should repress and bottle up all of your problems and anger, just don’t let them win. Recognize the warning signs. Make a positive mental commitment.
And learn to appreciate the simple things in life. Take the time to watch that sunrise, sunset, or full moon. You never know how many more you’ll be treated to. Be honest with yourself, your family, and your friends. Share the good times. When times are bad or you just need to talk, ask a friend for help. You’ll be surprised at how much better both of you will feel. Be gentle with yourself, and generous to others. Your kindness will be repaid tenfold. It may take time, but it will happen. Know that somewhere, right now, at this very moment, someone is thinking about you and cares about you! The ball is now in your court. Make the decision to be happy. Start now. Help others. The rest will fall into place neatly. The road to the meaning of life has an occasional pothole or two. Learn to drive around them with the help of those close to you. It will get better. It’s up to you and me.
- David Cunningham
Risk vs. Love of Flight
I'm going thru the flashbacks now with yet another crash. You may have heard that Ricky Teal's parents hired a banner tow plane to fly a memorial banner over Clearwater High School's graduation Thursday night, June 6, 2002. Ricky was killed Jan 11 in a car accident. The banner read, “Congrats CHS Class of 2002 With Heavenly Love –Ricky”. What an awesome statement. What a great idea. What better way to touch so many with a heavenly message.
I spoke with Brian Mason, the Pilot, as his plane was fueled at Air-1 Thursday about 5pm, as I had done so many times before. He was happy and excited about this particular flight. This kid was one of the nicest, friendliest people on the planet. He towed a banner for National last Wednesday. He took off, and went to Manatee to pick up Ricky's memorial banner. It would be his last mission, but one that touched the hearts of hundreds of people.
Nick, one of my best friends and roommate, told me there was not a dry eye in the crowd during the graduation ceremony as the plane circled overhead. He was there to see his friend Stacy graduate. In fact, Nick was teary-eyed just telling me about it, and he's one of the strongest guys I know. I thought it was such a cool idea. It wasn't till the next morning, Friday, that I learned what had happened. Devastating news-Brian had crashed and died after towing Ricky's banner. He had dropped the banner off, and stalled the plane while attempting to land to retrieve it. Here we go again. I spent all of Friday kind of in a rut, trying to look happy at work, but torn up on the inside. Contemplating how much I love to fly, and what flight means to me. Is it worth the risk? Is anything? Most anything worthwhile in life involves great risk. Remembering how happy a perfect loop makes me (thanks, Andy). Reflecting on how many incredible people and friends I have made thru a common love of Flight; people I would not otherwise have met, for sure. People like Andy Lemons, Mike Aeberhard, Tom Jamin, Matt Picard, Dan Buck, Danny and Erica, Mike Lemovitz and Chris Stevenson..so many others..You are my family, and I love all of you very much, unconditionally. Yet at times we are reminded, very sternly, of just how fragile life can be, both through accidents and 'natural' causes. So we grieve and move on, as we must do in this great game of Life, carrying with us the memory and spirit of those who briefly touched our hearts and moved on to bigger and better things. I guess everything happens for a reason or two, and that when it's your time, it's your time, though some pass on seemingly too soon -their spirit's work done here. It's tough for me to grasp the meaning or reason for the losses we've all had over the last several months. But I know it's all part of a much bigger picture, a plan that's just too huge to understand in one lifetime. So, I will continue to fly and motivate others to do so, as I’m sure Brian and Charles and others would want. They have departed the pattern, but not our hearts. In closing, I urge all of you to reflect on what's important in your life. The people, the ideals, the passions. Live each day like it's your last, and communicate openly with your family and friends, as I’ve said a thousand times before. Work, play, laugh, cry, Love. Try to find the humor in everything....just look at me..lol...and if you do nothing else, Keep Looking Up, for there lies the message, the banner, if you will..in the form of a vast blue sky..calling your name.
-David Cunningham
June 08, 2002
Philosophy
If I could change one thing in this world, what would it be? This is actually an easy question. I would change the one thought in everyone’s mind that is the root of all conflicts. I would eliminate the “illusion” that we are all separate.
When most people look at others they feel they are looking at someone completely different than themselves, alien in every way. Try looking at the people around you as extensions of yourself. We’re all just different manifestations of the same God or energy force. We’re all down here to do the same thing. Experience Life. We’re here to evolve; we’re here to learn from our mistakes. We’re all beings experiencing blossoming levels of perfection. If we could just understand this, all conflict would end. But perhaps there’s a good reason behind this. We need the conflict, we need the pain right now, for where we are on the evolutionary scale, we, as a race, cannot exist but one without the other. It is my greatest hope that one day I will see the dawning of this realization; that I can have a hand in making it happen. I mean, I only want to change the world, that’s not too much to ask, is it? Hehe…
I also believe strongly in reincarnation for many reasons. One reason is that one lifetime is not enough time to learn from all of our mistakes. One life is just not enough. We don’t experience nearly enough to be satisfied with just one life. I believe that our energy moves on when we expire and continues its work. Look around, I’m sure you’ll see people in your life who just seem…superior. They stick out of the norm. They have a certain aura about them. They’re intelligent and spiritual. Even in the face of great tragedy they can be calm; they can find the comedy in tragedy. These are the evolved individuals. These are the leaders, the Ghandis, the Buddahs, the Jesuses. Some people are at that level, and many are below it. There are no real categories; each has their own unique view of the universe. And yet, we all have the same fundamental quest. Some just don’t see it as much as others, and there’s nothing wrong with that! It takes all kinds of people to make up this world we live in. Each one is beautiful in their own unique way. Each one of us has a purpose, each bringing something into another life. We’re all traveling different paths, they cross, and join, and part, but each has the same origination and the same end. It’s all part of the constantly changing universe. A universe where the only constant is change. A universe where love is the only real truth. Love is all there is. Even in our darkest fear, there is love because it cannot be anything else. It is difficult to grasp, but it is strangely understandable.
The reason we are here, which is also how I believe the universe was created is one simple concept: You cannot truly understand something without experiencing it. I believe that at one time the universe was whole. Everything was one, completely. It was All There Was. There was nothing that was not it, and this presented a problem. Without a point outside of itself from which to relate, it had no way to understand anything. This All There Was knew everything, but it could not understand it without Relativity. So, this All There Was did something incredible. It split. So, there was now Here, There, and the Space in Between. Here and There were the polarities that exist in the universe. Fear and Love. Good and Evil. Light and Darkness. Hot and Cold. You get the idea. Everything else is in between. This being became what we know as God. God then divided him/herself into many other smaller manifestations and energies. God told these spirits to go forth into the universe and forget everything they knew. Forget the secrets of the universe and start it over. Learn it all again. This is what we have been doing for the last millennia. The universe continues to expand, and so does the mind of Man. We have had many an awakening in the history of this small planet. I believe that perhaps another awakening is at hand. Not a renaissance, but a spiritual awakening. It may not be in this lifetime, but it is approaching. If we can continue to evolve, as I have seen in various places, if we can band together not under a flag of war, but one of peace, perhaps we can finally all come together as one. Perhaps we can put away our guns, put aside our prejudices, and live in peace. Perhaps I’m a naïve fruitcake, but damnit, doesn’t it sound like a good idea? I have a dream, too…not all together different from MLK.
People expect some power outside themselves to make all this happen. The Second Coming. The Savior and all that. You are the Savior. It is up to you to change the world. Don’t look for someone to lead you, real leaders don’t make followers, they make more leaders! I’m not saying you have to change everything at once. Just start small, do little things. Go out and tell someone you love them. Hug your parents, friends, and family. Give someone something for no reason, and expect nothing in return. If everyone could just do something small, it will become something big. Really big. Pay it Forward! Together we can change the world. But if ya’ll don’t, I will. Somehow, some way, I swear it.
There are rules set in stone waiting to be broken. The world is ready for a change, a revolution in thinking, the anti-submission. Waiting for those who will not conform. Waiting for those who will stand alone and say, simply, “I Am.”
The world is waiting for you! Go forth and grab it. Seize the day. Lead those who will follow; listen to the leaders of tomorrow. Practice random acts of kindness. Look deeper where you have previously only glanced. Stare into the eyes of those around you and realize the love that was always there. Most importantly, look into the mirror. Look hard. Take inventory. See yourself for what you really are. See the love you hold within yourself. Find it. Hold onto it. Share that with the world. In whatever way you can, show it to everyone you meet. Love is contagious. Fear is an illusion. Pain is, too, though it is the only thing that makes some feel real. They live in the illusion; they experience the darkness better than most. But for them, it is the greatest gift, for the light is infinitely brighter for them than it has ever been to us. It is only after you have experienced the darkest depths of fear and hatred that you can truly experience and appreciate love. So, fear not the pain, embrace it, experience it, know it. For it is the pain that makes the love, and the love that makes the pain worth it. Every day over 80,000 thoughts go through our minds. Every day is a long series of decisions, every relationship a risk. Take that risk, live your life, Love. Do all things fully; live life completely. When you love another, give them your everything, even if it means you may be hurt. If you do not, you will never truly love. To know love, is to know yourself. To know yourself is to know the higher power. This is not rocket science.
Forgive others that may have hurt you. You have that power within you, and it’s not all that hard. Just do it®. Know it, live it, be it.
Look at those around you. The bigot, the bully, the racist, the prom queen, the jock, the nerd. All of them have their niche in life, be it good or bad. All of them serve their purpose in the grand scheme of things. Do not hate them, even as they may strike you down. For even in the moment in which they may seem to be hurting you the most, they are giving you a great gift. The chance to forgive. Take it and run with it. Love them even as they have hurt you. Show them that they don’t need to cause you pain any longer. Then MOVE ON with your life. Life is an ever-changing struggle. Don’t let pain linger any longer than it is useful to you. Don’t brood on something to the point that it harms your life. Every passing moment is just another chance to turn it all around. Start NOW. Get up, go to the next person you see and tell them that you love them. If you don’t quite know what to say, just smile. A smile is worth a thousand words. Know that whatever it is you say, you’re also saying it back to yourself. This is the beauty and perfection of God, the energy force, or whatever you want to call It. This force is in us all, just waiting to be unleashed, uninhibited. Work toward that goal. Use the Force.
Such is this life we live, this grand illusion of pain and pleasure, love and fear. See it all for the play it is. See everything as a scene, see the subtle humor, see every person as an actor, just playing their part in the great endless show.
And the show must go on.
There’s more. There’s so much more. But I think this shall do for now. This year, 2002, has been like an awakening for me. I’m beginning to feel as if I have more than 5 senses, and it is both calming and terrifying at the same time. There have been terrible tragedies from which we’re all still picking up the pieces. Good people have died. Their positive energy lives on in you and me. Those of us left behind are weakened, yet much stronger for it, if that makes any sense. I’ve learned a lot. I learn more every day. I’m still processing my feelings. Thoughts come into my mind…from where? – I couldn’t tell you. So I write them down. Sometimes, I feel like I’m only a messenger. I’m not really into organized religion any more; I kind of have my own creed, just do what’s right. It’s so simple and effective. I’m all about people. It’s just my operating system. Interacting with and helping others is what makes me stand up out of bed every morning. So, thanks for listening. I love you all. I really do.
Blessed Be
- David Cunningham
- Written and revised Feb 8 thru 17, 2002
- Excerpts from Bob Crandall, my spiritual Siamese twin…hehe..: http://caseman984.livejournal.com/
Dave’s Alternative Seven Wonders of the World
· To Touch
· To Feel
· To Taste
· To See
· To Hear
· To Laugh
· To Love
Keep an open mind. Communicate. Tell those close to you how you feel about them. Do something kind for a total stranger -they may become your next best friend. Hug your parents and hug your friends. Hugs are powerful. Realize that sometimes the strongest words are the ones that go unspoken. Be yourself. Laugh. Cry. Make mistakes and learn from them –nobody is perfect and we all have problems. We can help each other work thru them. Ask questions. Mentor a child. If somebody has hurt you, give them a second chance. Don’t lose a friendship over petty differences; the fact that we all are different makes life interesting. Pick up the phone and call an old friend. Accept change, for though it may not seem so at the time -it is usually a good thing. Learn to listen; sometimes opportunity knocks very softly. Know that somewhere, right now, at this exact moment, somebody out there is thinking about you and cares about you, just as I’m thinking about you right now. You are not alone in this life, and I’m here for you! Lean on me; I may need to lean on you sometime! And last but not least, Silly Sideways.
- David Cunningham